Perspective, More Family Trouble, and Sean Taylor

I am beginning to realize that living and working with the poor in Nicaragua is hard not because of the actual, physical work we do, but because of the inescapable questions we face as a result of the advantageous lot we’ve been cast. I only spend time “working” with the kids for about 2 hours each day, but the impact of my time lasts long past saying goodbye. Each afternoon I am mentally and emotionally exhausted, both from trying to control a group of rowdy kids and trying to come to grips with the existence of such harsh poverty and struggles. From this I often spend the late afternoons reflecting and writing about questions like, “Am I really helping?” and, “Now that I’ve been exposed to this poverty, how should my life change?”

Today brought forth more examples of such questions. I met the kids on the corner, as usual, and our group of 8 went to Pollo Campero again. Today we ate outside, which was good because it made the cleanup from our mess much easier. The kids ran around and played on the jungle gym, stopping occasionally to take a bite of fried chicken. They seemed to enjoy themselves.

While the younger kids were playing I had a chance to talk to Ninoska, the oldest girl. She told me that the families were still having trouble. Although my understanding is severely hindered by my lack of Spanish skills, I think Ninoska told me that the problems were actually getting worse.

I agreed to visit their house on Monday, so that should certainly be interesting. I hope it doesn’t cause any more drama.

After lunch I distributed all of the girls’ clothes which were generously donated. The ongoing family rivalry made itself known when Ninoska asked if she could receive her clothes up the street, away from the girls from the other family. I gave Sonia, Joselyn, and the baby girl her clothes and then started walking up to meet Ninoska and Stephanie (definitely spelled differently) with theirs.

Sonia walked with me and then, peering into my bag, asked why I had given more to Ninoska. I responded that all of the bags had an equal amount of clothes, to which she called me a liar. That was really hard to hear. I will admit that I was slightly upset because of her ingratitude, but the majority was derived from the obvious problems present between the two families. The last thing I want to do is cause more trouble.

I talked with Adbhie and Keren today – we are going to have dinner on Sunday and discuss the next step in helping the kids get into school. Hopefully we can build off of the progress we made together before I left.

On a completely unrelated note, I have been thinking a lot about Sean Taylor, the Redskins player who was tragically murdered this week. I am so upset by his passing, much like I was when the Broncos’ Darrent Williams was murdered last year. I don’t have any eloquent words to express my emotions. It’s just quite sad. I hope that the media, and the American public, doesn’t immediately jump to conclusions about causes for Taylor’s attack just because he is young, black, rich, and famous. What a tragedy.